portrait of Carlos I

Carlos I

Mexico City, Mexico

Anne Preston

June 3, 2019




Carlos: When I left here in Mexico, I was six years old. Mostly I left
because my dad lives there and he wanted me to live with him. I went there
because of him. While I went there, I was crossed through the border, but I
really don't remember—I was six years old. I just remember that I was in a
house, then they took me in a car, and then I woke up at another house, and
then at another house until I got to California, I think, and that's where
my dad picked me up.


Anne: Did you go alone?


Carlos: Yeah, by myself.


Anne: Who did you leave behind?


Carlos: I left behind my grandpa, my cousins, my uncles. My mom, mostly,
even though I haven't lived with her, but I left my mom. Some brothers I
have, also. That's what I left behind.


Anne: Was it hard to leave them behind?


Carlos: Well, I can remember that part, and it was hard. You're a kid.
You've been living with your grandpa for six years. You know your dad, but
it's not like you have a big memory of him or a bond with him, right? Yeah.
I remember that when I left, I cried. But, when I got to see my father, I
was joyful. I was happy.


Anne: You went to California?


Carlos: Yeah—while we lived in Oregon. They dropped me basically off at
California. My dad just went in with a car to California, and then we go
back.


Anne: Was he living in the US with papers?


Carlos: No, he doesn't have papers. Yeah.


Anne: You came over without... Over the border, you crossed the border.


Carlos: Exactly. Just like him, but younger.


Anne: He and your mom had split up.


Carlos: Since the beginning, yeah. They never were married or together.
They just had me and that's it.


Anne: Tell me about your time in ____.


Carlos: It was fun. I really enjoyed it. I got to make a lot of friends
there. I still talk to them. I still have more than my dad. I have cousins,
uncles, aunts mostly.


Anne: A lot of family was already there.


Carlos: Yeah, but most of my cousins are already US citizens since they
were born there—you automatically get your papers.


Anne: What was your dad doing while you were living there?


Carlos: He works. He worked in that time as a manager in Burger King. He
was doing that. Right now he's working, but in another restaurant, equally
has a manager. I think it's Drivers Cruising, something like that.


Anne: You went to the US, and probably you didn't know any English?


Carlos: Exactly. None.


Anne: Was it hard?


Carlos: Yes, it was very hard. In that time, I'm the biggest son of my dad,
and wouldn't have someone to interact with. Mostly it was my cousin. They
lived a few blocks away from us, so I just hanged out with them. Right now
I can remember they were teasing me for not knowing English. It's kind of
fun once you understand, right?


Anne: Did you start first grade in the US?


Carlos: No, I started second grade, because I finished first grade here.
Over there I started second grade.


Anne: How'd that go?


Carlos: Well, I think it would have been worse if I didn't have any other
school friends that were also from Mexico and stuff like that. They had the
same problem. They didn't know how to speak English or so, and we got all
in some courses from school. That's mostly where I ended up learning
English. Yeah.


Anne: English as a second language courses? ESL courses?


Carlos: Yes, I think it was, yeah.


Anne: Yeah, yeah. There were other friends who were Mexican?


Carlos: Exactly. Their fathers are Mexicans, and mostly like that.


Anne: Did you like school? Did you like learning?


Carlos: Yeah. It was very fun. It was very different. Each country has a
different way of their system of education. What I liked a lot is that
mostly you get free lunch up in the States, and you get a lot of courses
that are free, and summer activities in school, and they're also free.
That's very different because right here, you got to pay for them. I liked
it a lot. It's different. I remember my school, they had a big park for a
court of tennis, basketball, baseball.


Anne: Did you play sports?


Carlos: Yeah, I did. I loved soccer, but in that time, I also played
basketball. I also, how do you call it? Running?


Anne: Track? Track?


Carlos: Yeah, I like track. Yeah, exactly, and a little bit of baseball,
too.


Anne: That's cool.


Carlos: Yeah, it is very cool.


Anne: How about other types of activities at school? Did you do art? Did
you do music?


Carlos: Yeah, I did music for some time. I also did chess, but they're not
my strong, right? I also did robotics, something like that. Yeah. Mostly I
was up into physical education.


Anne: I see. Cool. Do you make lots of friends?


Carlos: Yeah, I remember most of them. I don't know if they remember me,
though.


Anne: You said your Mexican friends really helped you when you were little,
helping you learn the language at all?


Carlos: Yes.


Anne: Did you branch out? Did you have friends from all nationalities,
races, or was it mainly did you stick with Mexican friends?


Carlos: I stuck with everybody, like African-Americans, US citizens,
Mexican people. Yeah, with everybody.


Anne: Did you feel different?


Carlos: I never felt different. You never feel different. In my school,
there was no such thing as discrimination or harassments like that, so I
felt good. I wasn't under pressure of students or discrimination or
something like that. It was very good.


Anne: Did you know you were undocumented? Did you know that that would put
barriers, create barriers for what you could do?


Carlos: In that moment since I was little, I didn't know about the
barriers. I knew I didn't have papers, but I didn't know the consequences
of not having papers. You're little. You would like to play and all that
stuff. Basically, you're a kid, and kids just enjoy life.


Anne: When did you figure it out?


Carlos: Mostly when I came here, because in that moment I wasn't really
informed about anything. When I got deported back, I didn't even know about
such things. I thought it would be normal. I didn't even think of having a
job or a social security number, or something like that.


Anne: How old are you?


Carlos: Right now, I'm 20.


Anne: How old were you when you came back?


Carlos: 15.


Anne: Did you get in trouble?


Carlos: Yeah.


Anne: Why did you come back?


Carlos: It's a long story. I had some friends—they were African Americans,
Mexicans, also some from the States. I hanged out with them for a long
time, but I didn't notice in that time, but it started getting, doing bad
things and stuff like that. One day we were playing out, one of them had a
car. One of them had a car. I remember it was a Corvette. An old one,
though. Not like the one they have here, right?


Anne: Yeah, cool.


Carlos: Yeah. What basically got me in trouble was me being with them,
because we were just hanging out. Supposedly, I thought we were just
hanging out in the car and taking them for a ride, but what they did is go
rob a pharmacy. I remember it was a Walgreens pharmacy. Everything went
bad. In that instance, I didn't know what was happening. I thought they
just wanted to buy something. The police came, and I got in trouble. There
was some snitching there because the friend that was with the car, I think
he found out about something and he left. I was with them.


Carlos: That happened to be troublesome for me because one of them
snitched, and they pointed out that I was there, too. Basically, I didn't
do nothing bad, but I was at the wrong place and in the wrong moment, so
that got me, a bad decision to me and everything, and all that happened.


Anne: You were 15?


Carlos: 15.


Anne: Just a child.


Carlos: Yeah. Teenagers. Brand new teenager.


Anne: Were you part of a gang?


Carlos: No, but they were, but I didn't know that. After, they told me. The
one that I stuck with, he actually told me, "Hey, you know what? After they
snitch"—and he knew—he was like, "Hey, you know what? You're about to get
in trouble. We're in a gang." I really don't remember the name of the gang.
They robbed, and they were just out for some money. I think in that moment,
I didn't realize, but they took drugs.


Anne: Did they have guns?


Carlos: Hm?


Anne: Did they have guns?


Carlos: I didn't see any. I was just like blind. When I got there, I was
blind. I didn't see nothing bad. That's why I didn't suspect anything at
the moment until this guy told me.


Anne: Had you been in trouble before?


Carlos: In school, but not big, big trouble. Since I'm really playful and
anxious, so I need to do something to keep myself calm. In that moment, we
had BB guns, and I didn't know that was bad bringing them to school. I was
getting suspended for that. Also one time, one of our friends took the
little skateboards. I don't remember what the name was, but you can handle
it with your fingers.


Anne: How big? How big are they?


Carlos: They're tiny, like this big.


Anne: Okay.


Carlos: We took all his skateboards from his backpack when we were in
recess. What happened...I didn't know, I thought we’re just going to play
with them. At the end, they told him. His name was Lucious. They told him,
"Hey." They put me out, like if I were the one who was stealing this stuff.
That was like, "Lucious, Carlos stole your stuff," and he got mad. He even
hit me, but it's like I didn't even... It's like, "Bro." It's like, "Why
are you doing this?" Then they explained it to me


Carlos: Since my grandma—I mostly lived with my grandma back in the
States—didn't know English, every time I was in trouble, my grandma had to
go for me to school and stuff like that. They had one of our friends
translate to her what the teacher or principal was saying.


Anne: Your dad wasn't around?


Carlos: He wasn't that around because he was working. He mostly works all
day, probably.


Anne: It was you and your grandma and him in your house?


Carlos: Yeah, basically. Not really that much in the house, because when I
got there, my dad was hooked up with a girl. I think she was here from
Mexico, too, Puebla, I think. They were together, but that woman, she had a
kid. His name was Eduardo, but he was a US citizen. He's three years older
than me. We got into fights a lot, and she got tired of me. She even kicked
us out. For a few months, it was me and my dad only before my grandma went
to the States. After that, after my grandma got there, I was just living
with my grandma most of the time.


Carlos: My dad visited me. And when he got kids, I used to take care of
them when I was in school or my grandma was working, because she also
worked. She was a housekeeper. She had different jobs. Mostly that's what
we were living out of, from the money of my dad and the money that my
grandma was taking out of the housekeeping.


Anne: I see.


Carlos: Yep.


Anne: Your home life was a little lonely?


Carlos: Most of the time I was lonely, yeah. Even though in that time, I
enjoyed being lonely because I could go out, go to the park with my
friends.


Anne: Hang out with your friends.


Carlos: In school, I wasn't bad. I was a good student, but there was one
problem: I was too anxious, so I was always talking, or I was doing
something that got me in trouble.


Anne: Okay. You get caught in this robbery that you're unaware of. Then
what? You're 15 years old?


Carlos: Exactly. I didn't know what happened, but I was with a judge. I was
little. I really don't remember a lot of stuff. What I do remember is that
they were aware I was a child. I don't think my lawyer spoke with
somebody—I really don't know all the process.


Anne: Did you father come to help?


Carlos: Yeah, he did. We were afraid that he was also going to get deported
of the same situation. Since my grandmother was working for a lot of
houses, one of the—


Anne: She was undocumented, too?


Carlos: Yeah, my grandma. One of the friends of my grandma, she worked in
her house, she volunteered also to go help me. Basically they ran off with
my dad and lawyer, and the friend, her name was Leanne. I still remember
her. Leanne. I really don't know the process. I was in the correctional—


Anne: In a juvenile correctional facility?


Carlos: Yeah.


Anne: Were you with kids?


Carlos: Yes. I was somewhere in ____.


Anne: In Oregon?


Carlos: Yeah, in ___ Oregon. What basically they told me after the 10 days,
"All right, you need to come back to Mexico." I needed to come back, so
that's why they deported me. I don't know what, but they got it, too, with
the lawyer and the judge and everything, but I had to come back to Mexico.
After that, after my grandma knew about that, she came back immediately
because she has been taking care of me for almost 19 years. Almost 20.
Yeah, almost all my life.


Anne: When you were sent back, do you know if it was long-term departure or
a deportation?


Carlos: I just know it was deported. I didn't—


Anne: Do you have a limit as to when you can apply for a visa to go back to
the States?


Carlos: What I found out here it is was ten years.


Anne: Ten years?


Carlos: What I heard from a friend is that it also takes another ten years,
so it's basically 20. I really don't know what the difference is. They told
me ten years.


Anne: If it's ten years, then you can start the process after ten years. I
don't know how long the process takes. It's been five, right?


Carlos: Yeah.


Anne: Maybe in five years, it won't take as long as it does now. It's
curious because you're a minor.


Carlos: Yeah. Yeah, that's what I also talked about, with some friends
here, when we all talk about our lives. They were like, "Why did you get
deported? You were so young." Stuff like that. It's like, "Bro, I don't
know. I was young. I didn't know anything until they told me everything."
You don't realize about things until you're older, and so you know really
what happens, and what are the laws.


Anne: You weren't even young enough to know that you couldn't get a
driver's license, or maybe you could in Oregon. I think you can, but you
weren't old enough to know what you couldn't do as an undocumented kid.


Carlos: Yeah.


Anne: Because you hadn't experienced that. I don't know the laws, but I
imagine that since your family members were undocumented—


Carlos: Yeah, that's why I think my family didn't put a lot of pressure
into that, because they were also undocumented.


Anne: They would have been deported, as well.


Carlos: If my dad goes, my brothers will be alone.


Anne: Do you have a record? Given that crime, were you convicted of that
crime?


Carlos: I think not. I'm not sure. I have to ask my dad. He knows all about
it, but we never talk about that stuff. We always talk about, "How are you?
What you've been doing?"


Anne: Was there a trial?


Carlos: Yep.


Anne: There was a trial?


Carlos: Hm?


Anne: Was there a trial for the crime?


Carlos: Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think it was, but I really don't remember
that as well.


Anne: Because you weren't...


Carlos: I don't remember a lot of stuff, mostly because what hit me was
being separated from your dad. I can tell you that with my mom and my dad,
I have lived all my 20 years. I got to see my two brothers little. Right
now, they're older. Some point, that's why. Maybe I was distracted, or I
don't remember about things because I just cared about my family, about my
dad and my brothers.


Carlos: My cousins, for instance, I had a really good relationship with
them. Yeah, I think that's the most difficult part. But I had to pass at
that time, you know? I really appreciate my grandparents for taking care of
me, even though I'm not their child. They took care of me, and they're
still taking care of me, even though I'm older. I have my own life. I can
go places. I just go basically to sleep. I get Saturdays and Sundays off.
I'm barely at their house, but I really appreciate it, that they took care
of me.


Carlos: Most of the times, I think about what would be different from
living with my parents than my grandpa. You know, It's hard. It's hard.
Maybe when you're a kid, you don't realize it, you just live. But once you
truly know the love for your family, for your parents, it hits you. Not
having my dad and my mom when I was in my important point of my life, a
teenager. Right now that I’m 20. I haven't been with my dad so he can't
support me. He can't give me that advice, that hug that maybe you would
like, right?


Carlos: He does give me advice through the phone, but it's not the same you
know? He also send me money quite often, but I always say that the most
important thing is being with your actual family than all the economic
stuff or the money. Most important thing is the love and the relationship
you have with them.


Anne: You're a 15 year old kid and you're being deported. Where do they
take you? What do they do with you, the ICE [Immigration and Customs
Enforcement]?


Carlos: I was ten days in the States before they deported me. After that, I
just remember I went to the border, and my family picked me up.


Anne: They called your family to have them come pick you up?


Carlos: Mostly my dad. They came to pick me up, and then we just took a
flight over to Mexico City. That's it. Being here wasn't really easy.


Anne: Your family had been from Mexico City?


Carlos: Yeah.


Anne: They met you at the border?


Carlos: Yep.


Anne: And then they brought you back. Hopefully the ICE agents were taking
care of you until you got to them. You were a minor. They must have had the
responsibility to make sure that you got into proper hands. This is
dangerous.


Carlos: Yeah. Mostly on the border, there's a lot of drug dealers and
cartels and stuff like that, now that I know of. In the moment, I really
didn't know about anything. I didn't really care about Mexico anymore. I
was hoping I would stay there for a long time, grow up, get a job,
probably. Finish college. Everything.


Anne: Your dreams in the US were to do what?


Carlos: To study and get a job, and to live there, getting a partner, to
get married, and stuff like that.


Anne: Who met you? Which family met you at the border?


Carlos: It was the family from my father. My grandpa that I lived with, and
some aunts.


Anne: Did you know them?


Carlos: Yes. Yeah, because in here when I was little, I used to the with
them a lot of time. Even here before I went to the States, I was mischief.
To be honest, my situation in school has always been problems, problems,
problems because here in Mexico I used to get into the ceilings of the
schools, and throwing pencils, and hitting people, and all this stuff. That
was when I was here. I usually went to a school that was most for kids that
are misbehaving.


Anne: Even when you were six?


Carlos: Yes. When I was six. I got expelled from a school here.


Anne: In kindergarten or first grade?


Carlos: First grade. It all happened in first grade.


Anne: Do you think that's why your dad brought you to the States?


Carlos: No. He mostly wanted me back because he wanted to be with me,
right? I don't know a father, or maybe there are some cases, but I don't
know of a father that wouldn't like to be with their children.


Anne: You never got expelled from a school in the States?


Carlos: No, never. Yeah. [Laughs].


Anne: You did good.


Carlos: Yeah, right?


Anne: Great. You came back, resumed living where you had lived in the first
six years of your life?


Carlos: Yeah, in the same house.


Anne: Tell me how you felt.


Carlos: It was hard because I felt sad at the moment not being with my dad
and my brothers. Another part, I felt kind good because I had my uncles and
my grandpas. One of my uncles that lived here is one of the ones that I
loved the most, apart from my dad. That was kinda a relief. You put
something bad and put another good thing on top of that, it just kind of
mixes, and at the end, I'm here. That's what I think, right?


Anne: How far have you gotten in school? You were 15, so?


Carlos: I think it was seventh grade.


Anne: Seventh?


Carlos: Seventh. Up in the States, seventh grade, something like that. When
I got here, I finished middle school. I don't know what grade. It was
eighth grade, I think? Something like that. Here, they handle it different,
because you have elementary school, six years, then middle school, three
years, and after that, high school that is also three years, and off to
college.


Anne: Was it hard getting back into the school system here?


Carlos: Yes, very hard. Very, very hard. Mostly because I was so into
English and the subjects—well, I don't think they differ a lot, but
obviously history isn't the same. Most of the things aren't the same.
Civics aren't also the same. They have different ones here or there.
Spanish, they have here Spanish, that's a subject. I was like, "What are
these?" They have little, I don't know, like this. This thing right here.
[pointing to accents]


Carlos: I was like, "Where do you put that? Why do you put that?" Yeah, it
was very hard for me because, for instance, I didn't talk a lot of Spanish.
I didn't know a lot of Spanish.


Anne: Have you learned to read Spanish?


Carlos: Yeah.


Anne: You had to?


Carlos: Yeah. Yeah, because even right now, I don't like to read in
Spanish. I prefer English. If somebody gets me a book, "You know what? Can
you get me a book, but it’s English?" Because I don't like reading in
Spanish a lot, mostly because of the practice, you know? I want to keep my
English a little bit more fluid. Right now having a little bit of troubles
pronouncing words and stuff like that, because it’s not the same. You speak
it every day and write it every day up in the States.


Carlos: Over here, you speak Spanish. Here, the system of education for
English is very bad. It's very bad. I always try to hear music in English,
and read books, and stuff like that, and watch movies in English because if
you don't practice it, you'll forget it. You'll forget it. Once you're
older, it is very difficult or is more difficult to learn a language than
when you were little. Getting back here was [Pow sound].


Carlos: They even thought it would be better if I started middle school,
but from the beginning, not onto the third grade that I was supposed to be.
No, in first grade because I didn't know Spanish, and most of the subjects
that are needed for Spanish. I was great in English. They took my English
classes away so I can retake Spanish, but on second level. They were
testing me if to keep me on third grade, or going back to first grade. I
did good. My grades were good. You know what? Kept them there when I
finished middle school. What's been a little bit of problem is high school,
because I was still... It's not easy to forget old habits. In that moment,
school was like, I care about it, but not 100%. Since I like soccer, I used
to go and play soccer in my time in class and all that. That was a problem.
The distraction, soccer, then all those things I didn't know and stuff like
that. They even paid me classes for Spanish and for another subject into
Spanish, so I didn't really have a hard time. I spent two years in those
classes. After that, I'm normal. I can talk Spanish normally and all that
stuff.


Anne: How far have you gotten in high school?


Carlos: Let's say I finished. I already went past through the last grade,
that is the third grade here, but I still haven't passed six subjects. So,
I don't have my certificates. I haven't finished high school still.


Anne: Will you?


Carlos: Yeah, I will, and I want to.


Anne: Does it mean taking tests, or does it mean actually taking courses?


Carlos: Taking the test of the subjects that you haven't passed, and most
of them are very difficult. I studied in my school. It's from the, I don't
know if you heard of Instituto Politécnico Nacional.


.


Anne: Yeah.


Carlos: Yeah. It's the high schools from that institute. All of them have
specialties. They got construction, they got electricity. There's, how can
I say it? There's also for the planes, and how to fix them for mechanics,
cars. There's another one, but I really don't know. It's industrial
processes or something like that? That would be the translation of what I
know of.


Anne: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.


Carlos: I got electricity, but the subjects that I failed on are the
hardest ones. To be true, I have been trying to finish it for five years.
From the point I got into school, first grade, second grade, and third
grade, I have taken five years and counting. I really want to finish high
school, because it helps speaking English, mostly because they don't have a
lot of jobs that are well paid here. Having to know or getting to speak
English is a bonus. Right now, I'm in a job that, they don't pay you that
bad if you're single, you don't have kids, it's okay, but once you have a
family? No. It's not a lot of money for having a family. It's just for one
person.


Anne: What is that job?


Carlos: It's a call center right here.


Anne: Teletech?


Carlos: Yeah, Teletech, right there.


Anne: How long you been working there?


Carlos: Right now, I have two months, but I've been working into Vista,
CompuCom, CCSI, it's one right there on that street.


Anne: Why do you keep changing?


Carlos: On the first one, my first job was 2017, I was still studying. In
that time, I didn't have my subjects, not a pass or anything. I was good. I
always studied in the afternoon. It was from 2:00 to 10:00. I worked from
8:00 to 3:00. I was half-time, but I really couldn't, it was a lot of
pressure, and I was like, "You know what? I'm going to quit. It's okay. I
may want money, but I think it's not the time." Then after that, I worked
at CompuCom. That's more technical service related. It's not like you're
assisting customers.


Carlos: You're assisting the users of a company, the people who work there,
not the customers. I like that a lot. It's more technical support. It's
better than customer service. Customer service, you get a lot of angry
customers, and they yell at you, and all that stuff [Anne laughs]. That's
where I worked. I worked there six months—that was one year after. In that
time, I already finished, partially finished, school. I was there to make
money, because I decided that it was time for me to work, and I started
making money.


Carlos: In that point, I had some problems with my grandma and my grandpa,
so I left the house. I met there in CompuCom before that a guy, and we were
best friends. We were always together. He was like, "Hey, if anything
happens, you can go to my house, to my crib," and all that stuff. Like,
"Okay, bet." We even took our stuff, my stuff from my house all the way to
his house. It's a two-hour trip.


Anne: Wow.


Carlos: It's [foreign – location/Insurgentes 00:40:26], basically. I was
good with him, but in that moment, something happened: I started drinking
and stuff, so I really much care less for my job, started going down, and
stuff like that. I got fired eventually.


Anne: Were you depressed?


Carlos: Kind of, because the problems that I also had with my family took
over the situation. With him, I bought a lot of stuff. I bought shoes,
shirts, and all that stuff. I was living with him until August. That's when
my mom contacted me. She lives right now in Queretaro. I was just going to
visit her for two or three weeks, but I stayed two months. I stayed two
months with her and with my brothers—half-brothers, if I can say that.
After I came back with this guy again, something happened.


Carlos: When we were together, he didn't hang out with people like robbers
and stuff like that, but when I was back, you can see all the people right
there. Changing things from the cars, and stealing them, stuff like that.
Yeah. I don't know what happened in his head in that moment, but he threw
me from his house basically with nothing. I didn't have anything left. From
that, I was living on different towns, if you can say. Towns? Until I got
back with my grandparents. We arrange things again, and we got into an
agreement.


Carlos: I have been living with them since that. That's mostly what—


Anne: Are you staying out of trouble?


Carlos: Yes, totally. No more trouble. After that incident, I worked here
at CCSI, but I didn't like it because the supervisors didn't have any… How
can I say it? They didn't have a good organization. They set your breaks
and lunch in certain times. For example, I entered at 2:00. I had my first
break for 15 minutes from 3:00 to 3:15. Then I had my lunch from—it was
half an hour by the way—from 4:00 for 4:30. I had my second break until
9:00 to 9:15, and I didn't like that.


Carlos: When you had your days off, there wasn't a way that they could tell
you. When you got into the floor, it was like, "Why do you come? You got
your day today. You're not supposed to come." I was like, "Why don't you
tell us before?" A day before?” I didn't like that. The payment was weekly.
It was not that bad, but I didn't like it. That's when I applied here at
TeleTech. I like it so far. It's good, and the best thing is that I don't
have credentials, so I'm not working.


Anne: What does that mean?


Carlos: Yeah. Basically in call centers, you have 60 people, and your max
is for 70. A new wave comes in, maybe 15 people, and the five people that
are left—since you already took all of the capacity you're supposed to have
for agents and the rest of them don't have credentials—don't do anything.
You don't work. Let's say you don't work. You just wake up to come to work
and not do anything. That's what not having credentials means.


Anne: You're getting paid for nothing?


Carlos: Exactly. I was like, "Okay, I'll take it." Even so, in training, I
consider myself as one of the best of all my wave, because I have the
knowledge, and even though I don't do nothing, they ask me, "Hey, how do
you do this? What's this?" I can tell them. That's not a problem to me. If
I get my credential today, it's like, "You know what? Yeah. Give me them,
I'll start working like I'm supposed to be." You go to work to have money.
That work, if it applies some responsibilities, you have to do them,
because otherwise, why would you be working? If you don't want to have
responsibilities, you rather be something else, right?


Anne: What about socially? Has it been hard to adjust socially, make
friends, girlfriends?


Carlos: No. No. The people I have met, they actually helped me here. They
helped me study and everything, so that wasn't a problem at all.


Anne: What do you miss most?


Carlos: My dad. I miss my dad. Yeah. I miss him. I remember when we used to
go to field trips, and when he took me to his job, when we went to go watch
movies, to the parks, and stuff like that. It's not like any more, right?


Anne: Neither of you ?


Carlos: We talk through Messenger, WhatsApp, and through phone, right? I
call him or he calls me, and we keep in touch like that. That's the way we
can talk with each other, but right now since I don't have a phone, it's a
little bit harder. If you don't have a phone, you don't have access to
WhatsApp and Messenger. You have to go to a computer, maybe in your house,
maybe in the local. Sometimes you don't have that time to actually go
there, like having your cell phone right on hand. Having mobile data or
WiFi is very different. You can go on the metro, or go on the metro bus, or
in a bus, in a car, and still be talking with him. In this case, I have to
be in a certain spot to actually talk to him. so yeah.


Anne: What are your dreams now, now that you're here?


Carlos: The most important one is finish high school. After that, I want to
study software engineer, and I like it a lot. I like it a lot. I want to
get into a good job. Right now, I have a girlfriend. When I needed it, she
was there for me. I have a very good relationship with her, and I feel a
lot of love for her. If things can happen in the future, I'm willing to
take it. I'd take it. I'll take it because not a lot of girls will help you
the way she helped me, because most of them are not interested on who you
are or what you need, and she was in the moment when I needed it.


Carlos: That's why I feel a lot of love for her. That's a relationship. I
want to go back to the States, even though I know it's harder, getting a
job, but I really want to go with my dad, to be with my dad. Yeah. I want
to be with him, with my brothers. I want to spend more time in my life with
them. The time I didn't have in the past, I want to have it in the future.


Anne: We're going to stop at this point, but is there anything that you
would like to say to people about you and your experiences that you haven't
said yet? Is there anything you want to leave with?


Carlos: Mostly a lot of immigrants don't have where to go or people to care
them. You know, what I've learned is that there is always a person who can
take care of you. There's always good people that care for you. You know
what? After all the problems, everything, I believe in God, I think God
puts the way, correct way so you can live again, so you will not feel
depressed. You just got to believe. You got to have faith that everything
is going to be all right at the end of the day, and that even if you feel
alone, you're not alone. There's always somebody taking care of you. Even
though if you don't know them, or you haven't seen them, there's always
somebody that takes care of you.


Anne: That's great. Thank you so much.